The World's Smartest Bass Fisherman

Bill Dance has always been my favorite "T.V. Fisherman." Sure, I like Jimmy R., Jimmy H., Orlando, Roland and Jerry . I even like ol' Al, but he's usually fishing for Muskies, Pike, Lake Trout, or some of those cold water fish from "up north." And let me not leave out Mark S., with that funny hat with the long bill on it. Lot's of days when I can't go fishing for some reason I am watching one of these guys catching them left and right. Hey, I watch all of them.

Like I said, Bill Dance is my man. I just love the way he says "While fishing bullrushes, pay careful attention to the matted areas." in that careful diction that pronounces each vowel and consonant perfectly. He has that nice rise and fall in tone that just sounds like a poetry reading. He does this "pause" that puts just the right emphasis on the important stuff. "When searching for bass, (pause.count to 2..) take a close look at the outer edges of the weed lines."

Bill Dance could have been a "radio fisherman."

I watched Bill's shows for a long time, and learned a lot from the different techniques he used. For those who don't know, Bill Dance was for years a serious Tournament angler, and he "opened a can of whoop-ass" on his competetion a lot of times, winning 23 National Titles. I mean, he was good. Aside from maybe John Lennon or The Pope, I couldn't think of anybody I'd have rather spend a day hanging out with. The Pope? Naaaaa...Bet he can't use a casting reel.

So, here I was one morning, unable to fish for some stupid reason, like tornadoes or snow, and Bill Dance comes on. My ex-wife was planning to watch something else, and we only had one T.V. back then. I pleaded. I begged. I whined. She gave up.

So, Bill is fishing in a lake full of standing timber, and we are watching. She says to me, "So who is this guy anyway?", and I launch into an introduction fit for the "BASS Angler of the Year" ceremony. I spoke of his wisdom, experience, and ability. I mentioned the zillion dollars he's won on the tournament trail, the respect he gets from fishermen around the world, the huge sponsor contracts he must have! I finished off the answer with the statement, "He's The World's Smartest Bass Fisherman!"

And perfectly on cue, on T.V., Bill reaches out from his boat, pushes against a tree, and the tree breaks off at the water line. Bill Dance falls in the water.

My ex-wife, with a sweet smile says, "Yeah. I see what you mean."

Last Update: 07/27/97
Web Author: Mike Lott
Copyright 1997 by Sundance Software Technologies - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED